Shadows Of Nil
-[Goddess]-
-[Shadowman]-
-[krlshyr]-
Chatterings
Archives
Old Stuff
-[August 2005]-
-[September 2005]-
-[October 2005]-
-[January 2007]-
Exits
-[krlshyr]-
-[Shadowman]-
-[Goddess]-
-[Add Link Here]-
-[Add Link Here]-
Disclaimer
Designed By:Steve Andrews
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Ahh. Don't you think this is an utterly fabulous idea? A slam blog. Now we can bitch and be loved for it. Heh, the little loopholes our parents dont teach us about.
You know whats disturbing? Singaporeans. Singaporeans who have their fingers super glued to their phones. Almost everyone
Sadly though, here's the best you come up with:
"WaT u dOiN tMl? U wan 2Go TwN? Aft lesn mt U @ concourse!" - The Abbreviated SMS/Act cute but cannot make it [ACBC- for the ardent abbreviation lovers.] Heavens knows why!
Or - "Orh... Ok lorhz. Hahax... mus meet soon kaez? Dun alwaez busy hor? Later mi miss u too much worx..." - The singlish SMS. Or In my terms, Puke-Inducing.I mean, what the fuck is that?! That's NOT EVEN PROPER SINGLISH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. *Heh, the irony of singlish being proper... what is this world coming to. For the non-Singaporeans (call yourselves lucky) here's it translated - "Oh, ok. Haha, must meet soon ok? Don't always tell me you're busy, I might miss you too much." Ugh, add sappy to the crime list.
Or this - "Hey babe, u missin me yet? Say… I just thought I'd pop down town. My bitch digs this shiatass movie. Say you n me have some fun tmr instead?" - Ahh, the smooth talker hey? NOT.
First of all boys, I'm notin the least bit interested in meeting a fuckin chauvanist like you, and oh, just in case u'r too dumb to figure this out yourself, calling your girl a bitch WILL NOT score you points with any girl, even if I'm not her. Secondly, YOU ARE NOT John Travolta from
Take this (we're talking about rain here) - "Oh do me justice my fair lady and command this ghastly precipitation to cease, judging from how u and the raindrop had a scandalous affair in front of my innocent eyes!" *I love the melodrama! (The scandalous affair thing is a private joke. The humour helps too.
Blessed be~ Goddess.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Of course, krlshyr proudly announces the fact that she was successful in finding dozens of neanderthals but.. decided to rate only three of them for fear of turning into a stupid arse if she dwelled on their stupidity for too long.
she might lose her cushy, cushy job, you know.
stupid act 1.
couples. now, it is pretty sweet that you've found your "other cheek of the butt" or something. you don't HAVE to walk around LOOKING like you both have fused into one stupid-fugly looking entity. krlshyr almost died laughing when she saw not one, not two... but 3 walking monsters!
Just imagine, poor, innocent krlshyr, munching on chips.. and suddenly screaming in horror at the silhouette of a bloody 2 headed monster looming over her.. only to realise that it was made up of 2 dopey-looking, love-stricken goondus clinging unto each other like mating koala bears. the girl was practically draped on the guy like she was part of his bling bling or something
stupidity rating: 5/5. that means.. krlshyr thinks that you're so fucking stupid, the growth on her butt has got to have more IQ. oh.. yeah.. another +2 stupidity because you almost cost her her life...
so.. 7/5
stupid act 2.
After this, krlshyr swears off sitting at the back of the bus. Now, she has nothing against couples who cuddle and blah blah blah.. But it does get disturbing when the couple is seated right beside krlshyr.. and krlshyr happens to turn her head only to find the face of the girl stuck under the armpit of the guy.
Now, krlshyr understands the fact that pheromones come from the armpits and genital area.. and that it attracts the opposite sex. But hell, you dun have to stuff your girls face in your armpits to arouse her. Are you that desperate to turn her on? Then let krlshyr give you a tip. Pheromones are higher in concentration at the genital area. Why don't you stick her head there, then?
stupidity rating: 4/5. krlshyr thinks they're kutu-brains because they look like it. But the again.. she also thinks that they've got to be smart enough to understand pheromones and how they work. so.. there you have it... 3/5
stupid act 3.
let's veer off couples for a while, shall we? Lets look at two of our favourite words. FUCK and SHIT. Now, mixing both together isn't cool sounding and it definitely does NOT give you street cred. Street cred for stupidity is one thing.. but thats not the point.
You see, 'fuckshit' is a word that conjures up wacky images, especially for the imaginative mind.. *cough*
One fine not-so-sunny day (thank god.. we've had enough sunny days don't you think?), krlshyr was just minding her own business, when all of a sudden, someone shouted,
"FUCKSHIT!"
In a split second, a graphic image of a young lad humping on a piece of cow turd appeared in her mind. Oh the horror! The horror!
stupidity rating: for polluting such a pure mind AND sounding like a complete arse, krlshyr gives you a 4/5. Oh, and because she's in a foul mood now that the shit-humper lad is haunting her everytime she closes her eyes.. she generously gives you 2 bonus points! Oh and yeah.. the international stupidity gold award for being a fuckshitter. whoot!
thats a 6/5 and the fuckshitter gold award 2005.
done. Now please excuse the anti-stupidity queen, krlshyr.. for she has to take a much needed break away from Public Displays of ARSE-ness. Thank you IAS for that fat paycheck. until next time.. tune in.. same time.. same place.. same attitude!
It is basically a religion without the one thousand and four rules and regulations that make a wizard-filled D&D game(it is damn complicated, I heard) simple.
It's divine being, the equilavents of God, Allah or Buddha is called the Irony God/s. It has/They have difficulty decided what he is/they are so we decide for them call them the Irony Gods.
What these gods do, instead of salvation, is regulation. They do not wait until the end to pass a final and major judgement like the PSLE or 'O' Levels, but they pass judgement constantly with each action you do, like small little pop quizes that add up to pretty much nothing because there is nothing beyond life.
So when and how do the Irony Gods do the regulation? Simple. By smiting the ones who fail. What is the test then?
Cockiness.
The more cocky you are, the more likely you are to fail the judgement and get smite by the Irony Gods. Of course, a person who is less cocky would pass the judgement and things ranging from nothing to something slightly good will happen.
Then comes the true test. If you become cocky after that, you get smite harder, and if you don't, you'll be continually tested until you evetually become a cocky piece of shit and die of cancer for it. That's what happened to all those superstars.
So if you're interested to join or participate in our occasional bitchfests, please contact anyone of us. You have no way to do that, of course, but you can find it. I'm sure you will.
Anyway, I'm being so damn cocky because I've been slammed all day by the Irony Gods. Don't think it'll make a difference after this.
So yeah. See you all around soon.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
The first evening there, at the state dinner, he pointed to the chicken entree and said, "May I have some breast?"
The hostess raised her eyebrows and curtly responded, "Mr Churchill, in this country we ask for white meat or dark meat."
"My apologies,madam,I was not aware of your customs."
The following day,as a thank you gift,a large orchid was delivered to the party's hostess,along with the following note:"I would be obliged if you pin this on your white meat ---Winston Churchill."
Moral of story:Nxt time juz ask for the drumstick.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
A challenge i might say...for i'm not gd with words..
"It's all abt the word play," Jason Mraz told me...
"Go to hell u poser! Who asked you?!" I replied..
(Luckily for him, he was hiding in a radio so i can't bash him up)
Anyway...I,Shadowman
together with krlshyr/ms writer/cattoe/cathy/cat/ahma/c4t/c8t
AND polalion
have come together
to form a cult grp
called
SHADOWS OF NIL...
Our purpose is to teach faggots of the world the RIGHT way of life...
To guide blinded mats/minahs/ahbengs/ahlians/xiaomeimeis and others who we feel needs guidance...to the correct path...
We shall provide step by step methods to improving ur life, and at the same time entertaining ur pathetic lives...
We'll give politically correct posts(yeah rite)..meaningful stories(with morals to them some more!!)...and we promise to revolutionize blog writing like no one has evr done b4....
dun wry...there'll be no bitchy stuff like xiaxue or sexually perverted stuff like Sarong Party Girl...
We also promise to rid the world of PRCs,cocky %#$$%!@, cheenafied ppl,bitches,shitheads,stupid ch8 dramas,...etc(this list could go on forever)
No, we're not some siao kias who escaped frm IMH...
We're a grp of decent ppl(???)..juz wanting to change the world..
into a better place, full of englandified, dignified ppl...
and seeing how this is supposed to be a "hello" post...i shall end this post with a hello..
erm...where shld i put my "goodbye" then?
Anyway, this new blog. My first ever, how to say, collaborative blog. I always wanted one but there wasn't a lot of people around helping me achieve that small little desire deep in me.
Now I've got Krlshyr and Shadowman to help Polalion do that. Very nice.
The thing is, I never found out until too late, and as happy as I was I just had to raise an eyebrow because I love doing that. Especially since watching The Rock do that in Sec 1.
And I really hope I don't start writing boring lifey stuff around here because I have my own blog to handle all that. I wanna talk about all the controversial stuff here and get flamed or raved for doing that. Let's imagine the tagboard arguments.
Wow.
And I'm also very, very thankful that my two collaborative bloggers aren't people who "typpe liike soome stupiid shiitss hu cant spelll foor nutts". And nuts are not a lot.
All in all, very happy and I'm hooked on racing games. So yeah. Back to that.
if life is as exciting as watching re-runs of paris hilton's amateur porn video.. (u poor baby) then we're here to save the day!
no no. we're not gonna show you more vids, bozo.
we, shadows, shall attempt to rid the world of shitheads! those single-celled, super emo, puny ppl that walk around going 'buaiz'.
hate em? well, we do too!
stay tuned, fellow fellas.
we'll bring you a super qwertie website/blog/watchamacallit that you'll swear of xiaxue and her minions (xiaxue the geek, xiaxue 1,2,3.. etc etc), spg (arent we all tired of her rants?) and even stuff.
|
|